I'm excited and numb and overwhelmed and happy and don't mention it to anyone, but a little scared! My life is about to change forever!
Dear God,
Im all over the place tonight but one thought i keep identifying with is thankful! Thank you! Thank you for all you have blessed me with in the last 6 months! It's beyond measure and goes beyond my wildest dreams! Only You could orchestrate this timeline, this story and this start to my little family. I'm in awe that you would allow me to become Imani's mommy in this way. My prayer is that I can lead her to You and be an example of your ways. Please give me the wisdom and discernment to choose Your ways. Your are TRUTH and LOVE and I want both for my daughter. I beg you to be preparing her little heart for the excitement that she has a mom, but for yet another loss when she leaves her current home. Prepare me to nurture and care for her little heart so she begins to understand I am here to stay. Give me strength to endure this process and to be in the moment with her as it plays out. Help me find grace for myself when I'm not perfect at this mommy role like I planned. I'm aware this could get complicated, and I know you do complicated well, so stay close. I'll need you. I need you now! I can't help but giggle as I type this prayer. Your sending me to Africa for a month to become a mom. Only You God, only You! My two biggest dreams are intertwined so tightly and close to your heart. I would dare say this is my single most life changing event yet. Thank you for making me a daughter, friend, sister, aunt, Child of the King, and now, Imani's mommy!
A few years back I prayed "Here I am Lord, send me." I like how You gave me 5 whole days to pack, knowing how I dislike long waits.
I'm just certain I'm Your favorite! :)
~Tarsha
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