Picture post!

Hannah has Breast Cancer

Hannah, age 10, was unfortunately diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma, Stage IIA (Breast Cancer). This beautiful young woman, daughter, big sister, niece, granddaughter and beloved shining spirit is the typical 10 year old girl. She loves to play sports, ride her bike, watch Hannah Montana and just be a kid. Her positive outlook on life, as well as her strong will, will carry her through this trying time.

As I train and raise money for the 3 Day in July, I am becoming more aware of the impact breast cancer has on families. I've heard stories about young mothers, sisters, daughters, friends, aunts, and cousins having the disease and fighting for their life. But this young girl Hannah's story has impacted me the most! First, her name brings it home. My 5 year old niece Hannah means the world to me (and everyone else in our family) and just the thought of something this terrible happening to her seems unimaginable. No child should have to fight this. Second, she is only 10 years old!! Will this disease even allow her to become a wife, mother, and aunt? From her website: "The issue at hand is how to treat her as she is a child with an adult disease and the hospitals that deal with breast cancer do not typically treat children, and the Children's hospital do not have the facilities to treat breast cancer. We have two options at this point; (A) Hannah goes to a breast center that does not have the experience in children or (B) she goes to a hospital that has more pediatric care but not so much in the breast cancer area." Her parents must make these decisions. The journey Hannah and her family is on is a roller coaster, the big and scary kind people often opt NOT to ride. Hannah doesn't have the choice. She already had a mastectomy of the affected breast and is now undergoing chemo. She'll lose her hair, so she's having a party and shaving it off beforehand. Based on her website, Hannah is handling this well and eager to take care of business and rid her body of this cancer. Her strong will and positive attitude makes me excited to be a part of the Boston Breast Cancer 3Day walk to raise awareness and money for research to eradicate this disease.

Please consider making a donation to the Breast Cancer 3Day in honor of the Hannah(s) in your life. I sure will be.

You Are My I Love You - Maryann K. Cusimano

I love this book so much! It essentially describes a day with a child. As a nanny and aunt, I can understand these connections and feelings, and I can only imagine what it must be like when this child is your own flesh and blood. Enjoy!

For Aliya, Hannah, Isaac, Matthew, Drew, Liam and Damon ~ You are my I Love You!

I am your parent; you are my child.
I am your quiet place; you are my wild.

I am your calm face; you are my giggle.
I am your wait; you are my wiggle.

I am your carriage ride; you are my king.
I am your push; you are my swing.

I am your audience; you are my clown.
I am your London Bridge; you are my falling down.

I am your carrot sticks; you are my licorice.
I am your dandelion; you are my first wish.

I am your water wings; you are my deep.
I am your open arms; you are my running leap.

I am your way home; you are my new path.
I am your dry towel; you are my wet bath.

I am your dinner; you are my chocolate cake.
I am your bedtime; you are my wide awake.

I am your finish line; you are my race.
I am your praying hands; you are my saying grace.

I am your favorite book; you are my new lines.
I am your night-light; you are my star shine.

I am your lullaby; you are my peekaboo.
I am your goodnight kiss; you are my I Love You.

Maine Cherubs meet Massachuseets Cherubs

And for a moment, they shared a couch for Nanny Tarsha/Aunt Tarsha/Tosha to snap a picture! (Even if half of them were hiding their face or trying to get down.)
The children all played together nicely (for the most part). They got up extremely early and made us all laugh several times throughout our stay. A certain someone had to be informed about guests and etiquette and a certain guest must have been listening! The children were playing upstairs and we could hear them downstairs. We heard some banter and then heard Matthew say, "I am your guest and you need to be nice to me!" We figured he was right and they should move on. A few minutes later Matthew came half way down the stairs, and peered through the rails. "That girl is being rude to me!" He forgot their names a few times, but he sure didn't want to leave. He asked me "When can we come back Tarsha? Let's come back on your next day off!"

We played outside in the snow and Isaac shared his snowboard with this little guy who has been eager to get a ride on one!

The girl got her hair curled and was able to utilize Hannah's flower girl dresses. She looked gorgeous but I didn't get a picture. :(

Introducing all my cherubs was a great experience and I look forward to bringing them back for more fun. Thank you Tanya for being such a great hostess!

My Adventure to the North Pole on the Polar Express!

When it seems the magic slipped away...

We find it all again on Christmas Day.

Believe in what your heart is saying,

Hear the melody that's playing,

There's no time to waste,

There so much to celebrate.

Believe in what you feel inside,

Give your dreams the wings to fly.

You have everything you need, if you just believe.

~Believe, Josh Groban

My nephew Drew... he used his imagination and had a great time!

Tanya, Ryan, Hannah and Drew

Tracy and Ben Trina and Rob
Tricia, Issac and Matt (Liam (1) is missing)

Hannah and I

The ConductorThe Assistant Conductor...he punched the kids names in their tickets!

We had cookies and hot cocoa, saw Santa and used our imaginations! I gave Santa the notes Matthew and Aliya wrote for him, (more on that later) and even sat on St. Nick's lap myself! Merry Christmas Everyone!

A glutton for punishment!

Hannah (5), Liam (18 months), Drew (2.5), and Issac (5) with Auntie Tarsha
The Grandkids with Mammie

A few weeks ago when I was missing my babies in Maine, I offered to take all four of my sisters children for the day after Thanksgiving. I love these children and miss them lots, so this seemed like a brilliant idea! I thought I would load them up and head to Mammie's (my mom, picture above) for the day! I had originally planned to take them for a sleepover at Papa's on Thanksgiving night, but someone didn't make good choices and so two of them went home with Mom and Dad. This was sad, but all just part of God's plan to keep Auntie Tarsha sane for the next day! Mom and I thought we should have some pictures of the kids and us together, and this proved to be challenging. Can we all show our eyes and smiles at the same time please?

5am Part II

I went to Maine for a Job Fair (class project) on Tuesday night and then had regular class Wednesday night. I always jump at the chance to spend a few minutes with the ones I love, so I went to Tanya's house ASAP after the job fair ended. I found Drew waiting for me in the window. He was at the door by the time I got to it and I got some much needed LOVE!! He was chatting up a storm and checking out what I brought. I had some candy from the Job Fair and I couldn't say no! This is the difference between the children I nanny for and those little cherubs back in Maine. I can give them candy and gum, because that is part of my job as an Aunt, especially one who lives away now! :) We spent some time together and then I opted for an early bedtime, knowing what the Smith household is like BRIGHT and EARLY. My babies didn't let me down either. I woke at 5:30am, which is practically sleeping in for their house, but early for me none the less. I had two children all over me with lots to say. We ate breakfast, colored pictures and had our showers. Then I took Hannah and Drew to breakfast with Papa (my Dad). Turns out there was some construction next door and Drew spent the entire time standing in the window watching a bucket loader and dump truck clear a space. This couldn't have been planned any better. Hannah tried one bite of her pancakes and said with a puckered up nose, "These are not like my mothers." Did I make her eat them? No, of course not! This is another job an Aunt from away gets to do, throw some of the rules out the window. I ate them and shut my mouth! :)
Then as we left, Papa and I used all of our quarters to buy the kids a ball, sport stickers (after all it was Team Spirit day at school) and gum from the machines! Yes, a big gumball from the gumball machine at 8am! It was great! I laughed right out loud when I loaded these children into the car to deliver them to daycare and school with gum in their mouths! I cannot do this with the children I nanny for and I so enjoy doing them for my very special niece and nephew. I didn't get to see my 2 other special nephews, but I do get next Friday with them!

A Date, Dolls and a Death

What a weekend...

Friday night I had a date planned, but he stood me up?!? I don't have a horror story; I didn't end up at a restaurant by myself and I wasn't all dressed up with no where to go, he just never called. So, I have sworn off men for the entire month of November. I am happy to report it is going very well so far! :)

On Saturday, Aliya and I met Tanya, Tracy, Tricia, Trina and Hannah at the grand opening of the new Natick American Girl store!
"Look at that outfit, it is so cute!"
"I'm going to buy this one."
"Do you think she needs glasses? She doesn't have many accessories."
"She NEEDS jeans to go with her Chicago, New York and now Boston t-shirt!"
"What's your favorite? Mine is the cowgirl outfit with the horse."

These comments are all from the big girls of course! Imagine, 5 grown women (Downing sisters at that) in a doll store, far more excited than either little girl was! Aliya wanted a book and Hannah wanted one sweatshirt for her doll. If I were their ages again, I would have been way more impressed! Heck I was NOW at my age! Us big girls thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and Cornis (Hannah's American Girl doll) made out better than any sister did all day. She got a Boston shirt (to go with her Chicago and New York City shirts Tracy and I got her when we went to the American Girl stores in those cities), a sweatshirt, and an entire outfit including the must have jeans, a shirt, and shoes! There was the option of getting your American Girl doll's hair done, but I saved the day and $10 by doing it myself for Hannah and Cornis at Aunt Tracy's house. It was another successful sister shopping trip and we gave new meaning to shop until you drop! Here is Miss Hannah girl 2 minutes after sitting in the car...

On a lighter note, today has been a very long and sad day, and the hour we gained only had a small part in it. You see, Chance, my sister Tracy's much desired, much dreamed about and much begged for first puppy, went to Heaven today. She was 12 1/2 years old and her body was failing her. She couldn't walk, wasn't eating and had a hard time getting things out :( This is no way for a loved one to live, even when you don't want them to go. Tracy and my brother-in-law Ben had to make the decision of when. After a long night last night, they called the vet this morning and got a 10am appointment. Tanya sent pumkin bread, a personal favorite of Chance's since stealing a whole loaf as a puppy. She didn't care for the donut hole or doggy bone we gave her, but when the pumpkin bread arrived, she eagerly ate 2 muffins and wagged her tail. What a way to go out! We'll miss you Chance. Thanks for the memories and say hi to Grampa for us. I'm sure he was so very happy to see you!

Can't forget my other Little People!

Love you guys! :)

5am is VERY Early! And its still VERY dark out!

This weekend I played nanny to my niece Hannah (5) and nephew Drew (2), my sister Tanya's children. My brother-by-law Ryan is a star employee and was being recognized at an award dinner in Boston! They went down for 2 nights and I stayed with the children at their house.
Let me tell you a little bit about Tanya and Ryan's children - they get up VERY early! It was 4:57am on Saturday morning when I heard the pitter patter of little feet come to my bed. "I'mhungeeIwantminiwheats." When I didn't respond right away, (but instead tried to bring him into bed with me to cuddle, in the hopes of catching a few more minutes of warmth and quiet) he felt the need to repeat himself a little louder right in my face. "ImhungeeaunttarshyIwantminiwheats!"
So mini wheats it was at 5am and we were out of the house by 7! We went to Turner to let Allison's dogs out, went to Walmart (at Drew's request), went to Hannah's field hockey practice, and got new tires on my car, all by 11am. This was very exciting for Drew because he loves anything tools/cars related, and this being a combination of both - very intriguing!
We met Dave and Jaimee (1 of my 2 best friends) and my Mom at Wallingford's Apple Orchard in Auburn. These pictures depict the scenery there Saturday afternoon. Drew dislikes the camera (his mom is the paparazzi) so he refuses to look and Hannah was being silly. There was a festival going on with pony rides and face painting. Drew could have cared less about the ponies or face painting, the tractor that brings you into the orchard captured his attention and he wanted to be near it ASAP. Apple cider, apple dumplings, donuts to die for - who needs 'em when you have a tractor at the Apple Orchard?
My Mom made me a birthday cake and brought it to the orchard. Thank you Mom! That was sweet! Thank you Jaimee for my beautiful bracelet! I see more of those in my future...a few girls I know loved it!
Drew let me sleep until 5:30 this morning. He was generous with that extra 30 minutes. :) I am one sleepy Aunt, but so happy to have spent the weekend with some of my favorite little (and big) people! I received many nice gifts and birthday wishes from my family and friends. I feel very blessed to be happy and healthy at the beginning of my 27th year and to have such AMAZING people in my life.

Dear God,
THANK YOU for the blessings that you bestow upon me each and every day, starting with my health, my family and my friends that care for and so much about me. Thank you for my job, my car (with no car payment so I can afford the gas), my cell phone (that keeps me in touch with all my people) and for the opportunity to pay back student loans because it means I had the chance to go to college. Thank you for the little people you placed in my life to teach me and put a smile on my face, even at 5am. Thank you for the opportunities I have to look forward to in the coming year and I know you'll be there through the storms.
Please be with my sister Tricia as she starts her new job this week and with my sister Tracy and brother-by-law Ben as they pack their stuff and move closer to me. Please be near me Lord this week as I travel.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

"But Tarsha, you have Papa!"

In March, I cancelled my wedding. I called the florist, the photographer, the band, the cake maker, the caterer, the church, and much to my dismay, the Party Booth company, to cancel the reservation I had with them for 08-08-08. It was not meant to be. I realized it was much easier to cancel a wedding than get a divorce, something I never want to do. After ending the engagement and then the relationship altogether by July, I found myself doing a lot of explaining. I got a lot of apologies (people are uncomfortable with endings) and questions. I was, and still am, OK with the whole thing, but others seem a bit leery, including the littlest people in my life.
For the past year anyway, when the kids would see me, it would be accompanied by a smile and "Where's Owen?" I would then explain that he was working, at his parents, or joining me in a little while. After the breakup, which I and their parents explained, "Where's Owen" didn't stop. I would show up alone - "Where's Owen?", my cell phone would ring, "Is that Owen?"
After several weeks I decided to explain to my niece Hannah about being single. She is very smart, so I leveled with her. "You know how Mommy has Daddy, Tracy has Ben, Tricia has Matt and Trina has Rob? Well Aunt Tarsha has nobody. I am single. I don't have a partner or a boyfriend or a fiance. Owen is not going to come with me anymore because I am not going to marry him and he isn't my boyfriend either. It's just me now." Well she didn't miss a beat and came back with "But Tarsha, you have Papa!"
She's right, I do have Papa. I have lived with my father since going back to school for my Master's Degree and through my year of service. I am very fortunate to have my Dad's support. He's a great housemate and friend. He keeps tabs on my car maintenance - I balance his checkbook. He washes the dishes - I pay his bills online. He brings home Thai food, and well I help him eat it! :) Thanks Daddy!
Hannah's comment got me thinking. Not only do I have my earthly father, but I have my Heavenly Father too. He is with me when I show up to a place alone where everyone else is paired off. He is with me when it seems no one else cares. He loves me and He has a plan for all of my days. As a matter of fact, I'm sure he's got a bigger plan for me than I could ever imagine.

Dear God,
Thank you for my health, my family, and my friends. Thank you for my opportunities and my trials alike. Thank you for guiding me through these past few months and for letting these past few months happen the way they did. I could not have come out so changed without you Lord.
Please keep an extra close eye on me in this next few weeks as I journey to a new home, new job, and new adventure. Please give me the energy to play, the wisdom to make good choices and the patience and understanding to work with my new friends Aliya and Matthew. Please also give them patience and understanding with me.
Please be with my Dad as he learns to semi-manage his checkbook without me. Please be with my family as they adjust to various changes in jobs, childcare, and life in general. Please keep them safe and happy.
I know you have a plan for me Lord and I long to walk in your way. Please make me aware so people will see you when they see me. I want to serve you Lord and your people.
In Jesus name,
Amen

P.S. If you are taking requests, think Africa and Guatemala! :) I would love to serve your people there Lord!

Tears All Around

Today was not as happy as yesterday. Hannah had a great morning but when the bus showed up, she changed her mind. She covered her face and wouldn't move, she was frozen. Her father picked her up, got on the bus and set her down in her seat. What a good father to help her cross that threshold in his arms! He then got off the bus and we all waved. She just sat there straight faced. We didn't even get a wave on the way back by.

I hurried to get to school (where her Mom -my sister Tanya-is a teacher) so I could capture that on camera too. She smiled when she saw me but it didn't last long. She lined up with her class, but when they proceeded to enter the school, she froze again. She just stood there like it would all go away if she didn't move. I glanced over to see Tanya wiping her eyes and trying to pay attention to her students, but wanting to rescue her daughter. I took Hannah's hand and walked her to her classroom where Mrs. Godbout said nicely "It will be easier the sooner you let her go" and she took her, crying with her face in her hands, to her locker. I took the hint but my feelings were hurt none the less. I remember feeling anxiety and being just plain frightened and I did not want my Hannah to feel that! I walked off but only because I didn't want her to see me crying. My eyes were full with tears and around the corner came Tanya. Her classroom is diagonal from Hannah's classroom. She said through her tears, "There are 2 other kids out there crying and there Moms aren't here!" We hugged as I left to call Tracy, Tricia, Daddy, and whoever else would answer their phone. I cried some more until I felt better. Tracy and Tricia told me Hannah would be okay and that Mrs. Godbout was only watching out for her. I laughed because I realize this, but in the moment I wanted to rescue her, not leave her!

I had to run an errand for Tanya, so I went back to the school at 10am. Tanya seemed in good spirits and I saw Miss Hannah. She looked sleepy but smiled at me and then returned her attention to the teacher. What a studious girl!

Isaac got right on the bus again this morning with a smile on his face. Let's hope Hanny's second day is better than her first.