Home is where your heart is!

Imani and I have moved into Harper Joy! The plan is to stay the summer and see how it works for us. After a week, so far so good! Everything has a place and there is a place for everything. Putting them there is key :)  We brought what we needed and our other stuff went to storage or an aunts house to use when we are visiting. Imani was a little scared of the (composting) toilet at first, but has now mastered it. 

Living in Harper Joy has been a dream of mine for nearly 5 years. It was June 2009 when I saw Elizabeth Turnbull's tiny home featured in a magazine and September 2009 when I decided to build my own. I am happy to finally be fulfilling this dream with my girl. It's important to me that she understand simple living and how community works. She loves her people more than stuff, and she only knows spending lots of time with family, but living in the tiny home will make it a reality. She currently thinks nothing of the tiny house, besides wanting to show people. It's got everything we need and we spend about the same amount of time here as we did at the 'big' house. 

                     Our first night!

We still need to build front stairs, come up with a better ladder system to the loft, and finish the floor. But we are living in our tiny house and we feel right at HOME!

Dear Jesus,

Thank you for this wonderful opportunity that you have given Imani and I to live in Harper Joy.  I am so excited to share this experience with her; to teach her living simply by actually doing it and about community. I've said it before, I can't believe I'm the girl in this story. My beautiful daughter, my tiny home, and a family that loves us immeasurably. Thank you for your faithfulness, your provision, and your plans that are always better than mine! Please give us patience and grace to live in such a small space together. Help me to remember she's only 5 and still has so much to learn. Give me the knowledge and wisdom to teach her well and lead her to you. 

In Jesus Name,

Amen

My Magnum Opus

Today marks 1 year since my life was forever changed by a phone call.

It kick started my international adoption journey into high gear and gave me my most important title yet, Mommy!

Just 12 weeks from that phone call; the first mention of her name, I held her in my arms.

My daughter Imani Ruth

Our very first meeting ~ June 29, 2013

I wrote this back in November 2013.

Imani adds a great deal of joy and laughter to my life. She is amazing and resilient. Her presence in my life came so quickly and so perfectly timed. She also adds challenges and obstacles that have put me in an occasional tailspin. Being a parent is the best and most challenging gift I've ever received. And with it, God has revealed to me how much I need Him, and His people.

So, as it turns out, I am not a Superhero. Becoming a mom has put the ki-bosh to this charade. I fail. Miserably. Everyday. I am no longer the organized multi-tasker I used to be. Multitask? I can't even task these days!

I left my sisters house with no shoes on. As in, left my shoes at her house, to go to a public place. I didn't even realize I was driving with no shoes until I was closer to the appointment than to her house. I pack my daughters gear for outings and sleep overs, but forget to pack my own. I remember my toothbrush, only cause it's next to hers. I've left my house without my cell phone, my girl's school bag, and so many other things. I've taken to writing things down or dictating to Siri, who can remind me when I get to a location.

Then there is this little person who NEEDS my undivided attention, right when I feel I need to concentrate on something I have previously deemed important.

"No go n-e-wear ok Mommy?" from the toilet (where she sits for ages, especially in the middle of mealtime) and appreciates an audience. Mine, that is.
"Mommy wer-ah you goin?" if I try to sneak away to clean up, organize, or get one more thing done.
"Mommy, you ok?!" if all is quiet for 5-10 seconds and I'm not in her sight.
"Mommy look! Mommy look! Mommy look!" from the living room 10 seconds into my shower.
"Mommy sit!" Says the little one from the table as I try to prepare, set out or clean up dinner.

How do I complete tasks/remember/be a superhero with this competition?! How could I do it alone? I don't. I can't. I'm not. I'm leaning on God to handle the details, the stress and anxiety. I'm learning to care about them less and focus on the most important little person in front of me. My house is messy but my girl is loved. She is going to figure out sooner rather than later, if she hasn't already, that I'm not a superhero. No need to keep up appearances right?! :)

What I am is Imani's mommy; her fiercest advocate and her biggest fan. Superheroes have nothing on this gig!


Fast forward 5 months and I've moved beyond the foggy brain. I'm doing better at remembering and multitasking. We are a team and she likes to help me :) Her English has EXPLODED and she now asks "Mommy what's that mean?!" She's a sponge, listening and watching EVERYTHING I do, then questioning it.  She likes to throw me curve balls too, like "Mommy, can Jesus come here? I want to SEE Him!" My personal favorite is when she throws my words back at me. "Mommy, Downing's DON'T waste!" She's onto Papa, who shows his love by giving change and buying ice cream or candy. She reminded me "Mammy can fix it" when her pants ripped. She told me to call Aunt Tanya when we needed something once, cause Aunt Tanya has something for everything.

Aunt Tracy and Uncle Ben are like second parents, keeping Imani before and after school, teaching her balance (life and literally) and LOVE!

Cousins Quinn 1, and Johanna 11, provide sibling-like relationships for my girl. She loves them fiercely, and fights fiercely with them!

Quinny adores his 'Mani. He thinks she's supposed to be with him everyday. Aunt Trina and Uncle Rob host us lots of weekends so they can have their QT.

Aunt Tricia spoils her to no end! I guess that's her job! Isaac and Liam think she's pretty great too!

Swimming at Sunday River with Hannah, Johanna and Drew

Music continues to be a great learning source for her. She sings and dances to music of all kinds. I love hearing her sing her little heart out and get excited when she hears a song she knows, out of the context she's used to hearing it in. She's seen Frozen 3 times now and has Let It Go memorized. She started piano lessons too! 

Any chance she gets to be with her people, she takes it. Sleep overs, dinners, shopping, hanging out, playing outside in the snow, anything really. She's been ice skating, snowmobiling, and sledding. She doesn't mind the cold and just keeps wanting more! And enjoying herself. Always enjoying herself! :)  She loves the iPad and iPhone because FaceTime is just another way to be in touch with her people. And take selfies or watch YouTube. 

There is this description of an artist's greatest achievement called Magnum Opus.  My Magnum Opus was actually created by God and on loan from Him, but she is by far the best gift I've ever been entrusted with. She's one of a kind and this child, who I get to call my daughter (I still can't really believe it) has forever changed me!

We have been blessed by change, growth, beauty, lessons learned the hard way, and SO. MUCH. LOVE! It hasn't always been easy or pretty, but its all been worth it. So glad God chose me to be Imani's Mommy.

One phone call.

One year ago.

One very special little girl.

Thank You God for my resilient, smart, brave, strong, kind (and most recently a dash of naughty) little lady! I love you to Africa and back Imani Ruth Downing!

I Love You to Africa and Back!

I was exhausted the other night after a long day. We usually read as many books as Imani can negotiate, but I just wanted to turn the light off and snuggle my girl.  "How about Mommy tells you a story and you try to imagine the pictures in your head?" She agreed with enthusiasm so I turned out the light, snuggled my girl thisclose, and began:

Once upon a time there was a girl named Tarsha. 

Giggle, giggle. 

She was feeling like it was time to do something bigger than her. 

BIG Mommy?!

Yes, BIG Imani Ruth!  Life was good but she was not content in just flying by the seat of her pants so much anymore. It was time for something BIG. She prayed and God told her adoption was indeed the next step in His plan for her. She knew right away there was a little girl in Uganda that was her daughter! She wondered about what that little girl was doing in that very moment and imagined what she looked like too!

Africa? Uganda? {giggling}

She decided this little girl's name was Imani. It means faith in Swahili, a language spoken in Uganda. 

Me!!

So she got all her paperwork together (it was A LOT OF PAPERWORK) and tried to plan for when she would become a mom. On Sunday, April 7, 2013 at 7pm Tarsha got a call from her social worker Sharon in Florida. Sharon said she wanted to tell her about a little 4 year old girl. 

Mommy, Imani 5!!!

"But you were 4 when I got the call," I said smiling!  This is where it became more intimate, with me as her Mommy telling her our story.

Sharon told me all about you and then a couple days later she sent me a picture.  I couldn't stop looking at it or wait to finally meet you.  I had to wait 11 weeks before I could travel to Africa.

On June 29, 2013 at 10:15am Kampala, Uganda time, we finally met! Do you remember when I came to the children's home to get you?

Yes! And Danny!

Yes, Danny did come with Mommy to pick you up. We took you back to the guesthouse and you took a looooong nap!  Then we all stayed in Uganda for almost 7 more weeks.  We went to court twice, the lawyers office, Cafe Roma, the tooth doctor, the ear doctor, the American embassy, the American Club, on safari, to the equator, the zoo, and we made some really great friends!

Farouk! {smiling}

Yes! Farouk! He wasn't just our driver, but our life saver there wasn't he? Farouk knew where everything was and he helped us find what we needed! He took great care of us and that's why we still thank God every night for him!

Mommy, Farouk Uganda?

Yes, he is still in Uganda. He lives there and helps other new families like he helped us.  But if all works as Mommy hopes, we can see him in America next summer!

Smiles

Then on August 14, 2013 after getting your very important paperwork from the American Embassy, we finally got to get on a plane home to America! Well four planes actually, until we were finally here right?! Imani liked the planes; we ate in the sky and watched movies! Now we are home; you go to kindergarten and you have a family that really really loves you!

Giggles

So, that's our story thus far my girl.  And when I tell you I love you to Africa and back, its a true story!

Why Mommy?

Oh my girl...

For mobile

I don't want to forget Part 2

   

Our time

together

getting to know 

one another 

in

{Africa}

The place I begged God to go. Twice.

So He sent me twice, just like I asked. 

Both times I have returned exceedingly 

aware of my incredible need for more 

{Him}

I do believe in 

{His plan}

And I don't want to forget!

I don't want to forget...

The way she looked the first time I saw her

How she asked who was taking care of my house while I was in Africa

The way she sang "now I know my D-F-Gs"

The way she pronounced red pajama like eid jamama

The irony that her favorite book when we got home was Are You My Mother? pronounced "R U ma motha?

The adorable space between her two front teeth

The first time she called me Mommy

The way she says "Imani do it sof" (self)

How she sang "touch my felix" (spirit)

The way she says her full name: Imani DOWNing!

Imani has now been home with me as long as we were in Uganda together. This little girl has lost three teeth, grown out of lots of clothing, has a vocabulary that is exploding with English, and an amazing amount of resiliency.  She's independent like her mom!  Her sweet spirit and sassy attitude are still shining bright, but she's added some defiance, tantrums, and yelling. It's almost a joke because all of these are actions she has seen a cousin or two do and she just had to try them on her Mommy. One or two minutes after the attempt, which has been thwarted when I walk away, she's right back to herself. I admire her learning experiences (trial and error) and am reminded that it's just because she's smart. :)

She gets a good report from school daily in the note I get of the basics of her day. I'm amazed at the schedule she keeps and the quick way she adapted, like this was nothing new. She wants to be with family whenever the chance arises and is quick to join both boy and girl cousins at play. 

She eats like a champ and still enjoys chicken and rice any chance she can get them. 'Popopcicles' and avocados rank pretty high too. 

Books are still a delightful passtime and she's memorizing some. She can tell me the story and while she isn't 'reading', she's well on her way! She knows where things go, reminds me of random things at the right time, and keeps me on my toes!  She negotiates "one more time Mommy" with big eyes and several fingers up. She plays with my hair and says "I like it Mommy", rubs my back (when she doesn't want to go to sleep) and says "Good morning", which is just music to my ears. 

Every doctor is the tooth doctor. She has had 2 series of her vaccinations so far (icky) and was totally onto the situation the 2nd time around. I felt horrible even bringing her. 

Being this little girls mom is what I was made to do. It's rewarding, challenging and just awesome to watch her grow and learn with all the love showered on her everyday! 

Thank you to my family and friends for all your unconditional support! Thank You God for holding us in the palm of Your hand and for the gift of being this little girls mommy. I don't want to forget any of it!

Home

We are Home.

Home in America. 

Home at our own little place in the world.

Home to begin our new normal. 

Home, where routines are created and fostered. Like getting ready for work and school, bath time, specific songs in the car, and bedtime. 

Sometimes its a good night shower and others its a good morning shower, but it always includes all 10 rubber duckies and 2 Barbie dolls. I love that she calls it good night and good morning. She has such a positive attitude!

Bedtime consists of reading 800 books before we sing and pray. Well maybe not 800, but Imani would read/let me read every single book she owns before sleeping each night if she could! Prayers always include thanking God for Farouk and the days people and events. She even thanked Him for the doctors who have filled a cavity, given shots and removed the bead from her ear. This girl knows how to forgive!

When we get into the car Imani requests 'Ethiopia' or 'So Mighty'. Ethiopia means Who Built the Arc (thats what she hears and I admit, I hear that too now) and So Mighty means My God is So Great. They are song number 23 and 3 respectively. 

Mornings usually go fast. Imani wakes up about 7am. If I'm not in sight, I hear "Mommy? Mommy. MOMMY?!" Once her feet hit the floor she's got an agenda, which she wants me to be involved in all of, so she narrates what's next. It involves putting on new/different clothes, "brush brush brushing her teeth" and washing the sleepy seeds from her eyes. Not necessarily fast or in that order, but without interruption. Then she counts me down when I'm trying to get ready. "1-2-3 all done Mommy" when I'm hardly even all wet in the shower or when rinsing my toothbrush after the first go round. "One more time" as she holds her little pointer finger up towards me. Do I really limit her this much I think to myself?!

Get dressed, or change clothes, has been relabeled put new/different clothes on. Imani was hearing 'dress' or 'change' and getting distracted. She doesn't wear dresses anymore so she contests it immediately. Change means coins, and any you have in your possession become hers. She will unabashedly empty your cup holder or pants pockets of all change you have and move it to her basket. Pennies are fine. All change makes her smile. :) 

After her first day of school I asked her if she made new friends. "Friend, Friend, Friend, Friend..." she said as she showed me at least 7 of her little fingers. :)

All dogs are named Saige. But this doesn't mean she likes all dogs. Just Saige, who she walks to school in the morning. 

Chicken and rice are still the go to food, but she will try anything and everything off your plate at dinner time. She's a bottomless pit and I seriously don't know where it goes. Breakfast and lunch are small meals, but at dinner she just stores up. 

Her English is exploding. She speaks of herself in third person, which I find so adorable. She LOVES reading books and has a few favorites she has practically memorized. Llama Llama Red Pajama, Are You My Mother and Good Night Maine are three of the books I could recite and draw illustrations for. She labels everything on the pages, imitates the faces of the characters, knows the plot and when oops, I by mistake, miss a page! Stop judging, you know you've done it too! :) 

Imani loves Jesus, life and learning. She embraces them all everyday and teaches me in the process. I tell her how brave, strong, smart, kind and special she is. I want her to know these things about herself and never question otherwise. She now lists them off on those cute little fingers! 

I had a small plate of food for dinner so I finished first the other night. Imani pushed her plate to me and moved right into my lap. She said "Mommy all done?" as she tried to share hers with me. "Sit down Mommy" she'll say as she pats the table next to her so we can be "togetha!"

She rubs my face and hair and says "Guud Job Mommy" when I read to her.

We looked at a magazine at dinner and talked about what we saw. It had children's winter clothing and I told her I had a jacket for her already. "Show me Mommy" she said as she jumped into my arms. We walked to her closet where there were actually 2 used winter jackets others had given to Imani. She squealed with excitement and hugged me saying thank you!  This makes my mommy heart happy!

She adores her aunts, uncles, and cousins and will do anything for them, especially things she won't do for me. Things like wear a certain outfit or shoes, her hair a certain way, or a certain food.  An aunt suggests it and shes all "yeah!" like its the best idea ever and the first time it's been offered! She wants to go all the time and she makes a liar out of me constantly! Shy? Not since coming to America. She doesn't wear pants? Dresses all the time? Well since coming to America... :)

I'm thoroughly enjoying watching life from Imani's view. She gets ecstatic to just see cows in a pasture or when she makes a connection from a book we've read. She embraces life with all her being and really appreciates the smaller things in it. 

In Uganda, I was careful to say lets go back to the guest house or to the room. I would correct myself if I said home, because I always referenced America as home and said we would go in an airplane to get there. My girl understood. 

She knows we are Home. 

Home in America. 

Home at our own little place in the world.

Home. Where my heart, and my little girl are! Thank You Jesus!

Picture post!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow...your only a day away!

Been singing this often with Imani! 

Here is the new checklist:

Blue Form at Embassy- CHECK

Medical appointment-CHECK

Court hearing- CHECK

Verbal ruling- CHECK

Legal Guardianship- CHECK

Passport process- CHECK

Written ruling- CHECK

Visa appointment-CHECK (PASSED)

DEPARTURE DATE- August 14!!!!! TOMORROW!

Thank you God for moving papers and people here in Africa! I'm worn out and flat broke, but blessed beyond measure by this brave, smart, kind and beautiful miracle I get to call my daughter!

Meet Imani Ruth

(I told you she was beautiful!)

I might finally be able to bring Imani HOME!

Here is the new checklist:

Blue Form at Embassy- CHECK

Medical appointment-CHECK

Court hearing- CHECK

Verbal ruling- CHECK

Legal Guardianship- CHECK

Passport process- CHECK

Written ruling- CHECK

Visa appointment-CHECK

August 12- 3pm Kampala time- 8am EST

TENTATIVE DEPARTURE DATE- August 14!!!!! Pray for available and inexpensive flights please! 

I'm SOOO ready to come home!

I think an end date may be in sight after tomorrow. 

I'm shooting for less than 10 days. Dear God please be near!

Here is the new checklist:

Blue Form at Embassy- CHECK

Medical appointment-CHECK

Court hearing- CHECK

Verbal ruling- CHECK

Legal Guardianship- CHECK

Passport process- CHECK

Written ruling- CHECK

Visa appointment-I'll know tomorrow!

Things I've learned in Africa...

Patience. Seriously, I'm being patient here!

I don't want to be a stay at home mom, just a mom at her own home!

There is only One who knows my future, and it's NOT me! I don't think I learned this here, it just keeps hitting me HEAD ON. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!

My mother (and sisters) wished a child like me on me, and I think I got her! :)

Rice can be eaten for all meals. 

Loving something doesn't mean you always have to like it. 

Christians are not always Christ like. Again, I don't think I learned this here, it just keeps hitting me HEAD ON. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!

Children can spot trustworthy people and the sketchy ones alike. My daughter has got a great sense for this and I'm following her lead here from now on.  

I'm so blessed with what I have. What I want or need pales in comparison with I have. 

I'm not homesick, just ready to come home. Or at least know when that is!

Legal Guardian!

Apparently this order I've been speaking of to get the passport process started is THE legal guardianship order! I guess I misunderstood this, as my lawyers office has just referred to it as an order. So I now have custody!

It is another step in the process that can be checked off! :) Once we have passport in hand, we'll only be waiting for the written ruling to be completed by the judge so we can make an appointment at the embassy for Imani's visa.  If you would like to help us, there are two ways. You can pray that He moves papers and people here in Kampala, and/or you can call Senator Susan Collins office and inquire about the long wait for adopting families visa appointments at the US embassy in Uganda. We have heard there are only 4 appointments a week right now. We know there are several families here waiting for their written rulings to make an appointment, and the back log could create an extra long stay.

I'm trying to be patient and understanding that this process is what it is. My eagerness to come home is to create some sort of schedule with Imani before returning to work. I have 8 weeks off and at this rate, I'll return just in time to go back. I'd love to have at least 2 weeks to just be home with her. 

Here is the new checklist:

Blue Form at Embassy- CHECK

Medical appointment-CHECK

Court hearing- CHECK

Verbal ruling- CHECK

Legal Guardianship- CHECK

Passport process- APPLICATION IN 7/22/13

Written ruling- UNKNOWN

Visa appointment-UNKNOWN

Please pray!

Proceed to Passport Office!

Groundhog Day

Many have asked how we are doing.  I share stories and abstract photos, but I don't share the everyday things we do here.  Let's put it this way, this phase we are in right now gaining legal guardianship here in Uganda is like the movie Groundhog Day. The same things happen everyday, maybe in a different order, maybe even spiced up a bit, but the same none the less. Everyday feels like February 2. 

Let me give you a glimpse into our February 2nd. This is not a pity party, just an idea of what our days include and why I haven't posted much. 

We do nothing. Nothing of importance, or purpose. Nothing except wonder how long we will be here. The unknown is really something you can drive yourself crazy contemplating. 

We do nothing A LOT. But we also enjoy watching Imani clean her toys, the clean floor, or the dirty porch (with her white doll shirt because that seemed like a good rag) after we've played all we can but she's not done. 

We do the same puzzles, read the same books, play the same iPad games, sing the same songs, and watch the same iPad videos everyday. Good thing repetition helps children learn.  Imani will not only know her alphabet through song, but by recognizing the letters and tracing them.  Danny and I will be singing it in our sleep. :) 

We watch tv that is constantly resetting, or goes out and coming back in blurry lines. Sometimes its in another language and there are no subtitles, but the lip movements don't match at all. I've also seen Richard Marx "Waiting for You" and Sinéad O'Connor's "Nothing Compares 2 U" music videos. 

We get excited about our daily (sometimes 2) trip to Caffe Roma.  It's decent prices and we get a lot of yummy food.  It's enough for a take away meal for Imani the next day.  It's also cheap gelato. 2000 shillings for a small cup.  That's less than a dollar. 

We eat the same foods just about everyday here at the guest house for breakfast. Mango, pineapple or banana, french toast/toast with coffee and juice. Rice and any kind of meat you put in front of Imani for the other two meals.  Girlfriend hasn't met an animal (goat, cow, pig, lamb, chicken, fish) she doesn't thoroughly enjoy.  Even it means chewing said animal for 5 minutes.  She cleans the bone and leaves nothing besides it on the plate.  

We try to go on an outing (the ATM machine, lawyers office, grocery store, the american club) each day to keep our sanity.  But outings cost money and we could be here a while so we must budget the little money we have.  

We talk about home.  We try to contact home as often as possible, but it's usually when friends and family are still sleeping, or at work, or it's not a convenient time. FaceTime and Skype leave us feeling refreshed, for a few minutes anyway. Imani likes FaceTime because she is so shy and interacting via the iPad is easier. She'll sing, dance, and wave to lucky people over the Internet, but only started speaking to our driver yesterday! Girlfriend is just so much cooler online I guess :)

We go to bed at about 8:30 or 9pm each night. Imani is usually sleeping by 7:30, but it gets dark out and there is really nothing else to do. 

So with that said, we went on safari to change things up a bit. Three days, two nights, hundreds of antelope, dozens of giraffes, elephants, hippos, crocodiles, water buffalo, baboons, monkeys, birds, a leopard, a lion practically within our reach and ONE ALL AROUND AMAZING EXPERIENCE! 

But alas, we woke up from these days and it was February 2 again. 

Favorable Verbal Ruling

See below for what that means... Baby steps! This. Is. Africa!!  :)

This. Is. Africa.

TIA, I learned today. This. Is. Africa! :) Asking why here solicits this answer!

Court went well. I felt confident and nervous, but Danny and my lawyer Victoria said I did good! 

Many people have asked, now that court is over, when are we coming home?!  I wish I knew!! 

Here's a brief synopsis of what the Ugandan adoption timeline includes in the order it is supposed to happen as I understand it. Think general. Items are subject to change on a moments notice, and you may wait an extra day, or week. TIA. 

Court date- a general date when you may or may not be seen by the judge. If he has too many cases, you may get bumped until tomorrow. Or next week. The case number assigned to you does not mean a thing. TIA. 

Meeting/picking up your child- this generally happens as soon as you are in country, which is usually scheduled for about a week before your court date.

Blue Form at Embassy- this is an excuse to introduce yourself to the Embassy and its your 'ticket' to a medical appointment. You NEED the blue form to get an appointment at IOM. 

Medical appointment- (IOM) your child needs a physical and TB test for the Visa appointment (last step). This should happen as soon as possible. However, they only see certain ages on certain days, so you must coordinate accordingly. And wait there for your turn for the 8am appointment they have given to five other families as well. The number they give you when you check in, it's just a number on a piece of paper people. I had number 5. 11, 12, and 13 were called before us. TIA. 

Court hearing- you need to have a hearing before the judge to get the actual ruling for legal guardianship. The basics of court are to present the orphan's case. Witnesses and current guardians are questioned under oath to make sure the child is actually an orphan and thorough investigations have been completed. The potential parent(s) can also be questioned. Some questions he may ask are why Uganda? Why adoption? What is your money source besides your work? Why do you live alone? Do you have a dog?  TIA. 

Legal Guardianship- I have Imani with me now, but I do not have 'custody' of her yet. We petitioned for that yesterday at court. So I guess you could say I'm parenting her, but essentially I'm just a nanny in the eyes of the law here. TIA. 

Verbal ruling/written ruling- yes, there are two. You get the verbal first after about a week usually, basically the judge has drafted the order and made his decision. If you get a yes ruling, your lawyer can ask for an order to start the passport process at this point, instead of waiting for the carefully proofread written ruling, which could take another week. Or two. TIA. 

Passport process- your child needs a passport to travel. In order to issue a passport, the passport office needs to know the child's legal guardian. Also, the passport office is busy. I'm not sure of the actual process that happens behind closed passport office doors, but I basically paid a professional waiter to go to the passport office everyday until Imani's is complete. He's simply a gentle reminder that he's waiting for a passport. TIA. 

Visa appointment- This happens at the embassy and is the appointment that brings it all together and is our ticket to leave the country with Imani! All the very important paperwork (copy of dossier, 3 years tax returns, DS-1981, DS-230, I-600, and I-864) that Danny and I have been keeping close to our person AT ALL TIMES, along with the IOM medical file, court ruling, guardianship order, irrevocable release from previous guardian, orphan file, passport, and a fee, gets me an appointment to get a Visa. The appointment can only happen on a Monday or Wednesday and there are only so many time slots. It may be the day you get everything. Or 2 days later. Or a week. But they tell me the appointment lasts an hour and you can usually get the Visa issued within 48 hours. But, this is Africa, so don't hold your breath :)

So when you ask me (or Danny) when we are coming home, and we don't have a concrete answer, this is why. Because this is Africa people. This. Is. Africa! :)

Getting to know Imani

As we wait for court and the TB rest results, we just spend time together and get to know each other. Imani is opening up more each day and talking too. We are counting, singing ABCs, doing color puzzles and looking at pictures of herself and family the most. Bedtime has been adjusted and nap time almost cut out. 

We went to the American Recreation Club (like a country club with pool, tennis, food, playground) on Saturday and met up with other adopting families. It was $10 to go and its close. We may need this place if we end up staying longer than anticipated. We traded adoption stories, lodging accommodations, agency/lawyer support and watched the kids in the water. Imani didn't really go in past her waist and we tried to keep the arm dry. Not fun!

Second times a charm?!

I went to the airport to depart for Africa once, but whether delayed us for 2 days, so I ended up 'departing' a second time.

I went to court once already, but the judge just couldn't see anymore cases after 8:15pm, so I will end up going a second time. 

I went to IOM today, but my appointment is actually tomorrow, so I will end up going a second time. 

It's funny and we are trying to make a joke of it. We just keep showing up early I guess. Or it's the thunderstorms, a tired judge, a mistake made by office staff. You see, I called and made the IOM appointed for Friday at 8am myself. They only see 4 year olds on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. I knew that because the special blue paper I needed to get from the embassy says that. But the girl at the office told me I needed to go on Thursday at 9am. I checked with her three times, and I even had her call back to double check! She wrote down Thursday at 9am and insisted I be there. I waited 1.5 hours and when my number was called, the nice man at the desk said I didn't have an appointment until tomorrow. I'm not going to lie, for a split second I wanted to throw a grown woman temper tantrum. But I quickly thought better of and was glad I didn't miss my 9am Thursday appointment by showing up Friday at 8am. 

What can you do right?! I've got this beautiful little blessing who I will do anything for, a second time! :)

Sharing is Caring

Sharing- to allow someone to use or enjoy something that one possesses

Caring - to be concerned or interested, to provide needed assistance or watchful supervision

Sharing is caring. I believe this to be true on the playground and with resources one might have that can help another or brighten their day.  I believe the more we share the more we have. Like love.

It's also the sacrificial part of sharing that represents caring. (Think candy bar!) This is mine. I like this and I like you too. Ill giveyou some of this so that you can enjoy this too. I will now (physically) have less of this, but I will be able to watch you enjoy this too, and that is (almost) better than more this! :). And it might just brighten their day!

All that to say I believe in sharing. I'm a sharer. It's in my blood people, I grew up with four sisters and 1 bathroom.

But not everything is to be shared. 

My daughter was deemed an orphan. There are many ways this can happen. She has a story, like we all do, about the first 4 1/2 years of her life. This story has been shared with me, her Mommy (kind of an important person!)  It can be shared, by her, when she deems it ok. It's herthis to share. Until then, sharing it doesn't help others or brighten their day. 

My daughter is going to be adopted. It's going to happen once. Adoption is a way that a family is made. It's not something to be ashamed of or kept secret, but once it's finalized, it's not a verb that happens again every day of her life. 

My daughter has a biological mother. There is a story about how they separated. There is also a story about how this woman chose life. I'm choosing to share that.  My daughter has a biological father and there is a story about how they separated. Adoption is born of loss and separation. It's beauty from ashes. I'm going to acknowledge the loss my daughter has endured (and address it as I see fit) and adopt her into my family at 4 1/2.  Sharing about her biological mother and father or her loss isn't going to help anybody or brighten their day. 

I'm a first time parent. I've been an after school homework helper, summer camp counselor, nanny, Aspirations VISTA and most important thus far, an Aunt. I am aware that none of the above will have prepared me enough for parenting. These positions were mostly a) paid work or b) part time in the grand scheme of life or c) pure enjoyment of my nieces and nephews. I had nights and weekends off or I worked nights and weekends. I gave these children back to their parents and I went to do what I do after caring for these little people. For many years now I've acknowledged that I will parent different than I was a nanny and different than I am an aunt. Cue sharing. I don't need to be told this. If it helps, I've considered this aspect of becoming a parent for years now. I've acknowledged it's different and harder. It's also beautiful and rewarding; I'm sharing that part! I appreciate (solicited) advice and I'm not against constructive criticism. However, I did not go into this blindly. I've considered, researched, and asked questions about many aspects of single parenting, adoption, attachment, having a boyfriend and a child, time, money, and countless other necessities. I've got it covered.  Please note that I'm an adult and I'm human, so I get to make these choices and I will not be perfect at any of it! Grace people, grace. I'm asking you to grant me some grace as I step into parenting. I am a new mom through international adoption who is in a foreign country trying to bond, attach, and get to know my daughter. 

Consider this your sacrificial part of sharing in these departments. "I won't share this right now because while I might feel like I'm helping or brightening someone's day, they may not receive this that way at this time."  You might also consider "is this really my business?"

Please listen to what I do share. Just listen. You don't need to respond with a story of your own, advice on how to do such and such, or even ask questions. Just listen.  I'll share what I am comfortable with sharing. If you just listen, you'll hear our story. 

So not sharing in various situations is actually caring. It is typical to be interested in adoption related and/or new parent topics and I appreciate that. My job as Imani's mommy is to protect her and not constantly question my choices and consider everyone elses ways of doing it. 

I'm completely immersed in this life changing event and ready as I'll ever be with the One who wrote my story. Please join me on this adventure with these truths in mind!

New Court Date

You'll get your day in court has a whole new meaning! I spent almost 9 hours there today and felt my first live earthquake, but I didn't get in front of the judge. My new court date is July 9. 

While this is disappointing and means many inconveniences and more time/money spent here in Uganda, and less time creating a schedule back home before I return to work, I am choosing JOY that we are here with this PRECIOUS child NOW! 

Imani is so AMAZING! This child is shy, kind, sweet, obedient, and beautiful!  For example, Girlfriend has been up since 6:30am. She sat for 2.5 hours after breakfast while her hair was fixed for court. Then she sat and played nicely in the waiting room with other families in and out, other children screaming, hitting, crying, and generally melting down around her for the next 9 hours!!! She shared her snacks, coloring book and crayons with others. She loved on me and giggled. :)  She listened to me reading books and copied my words! <---- BIG deal this is! She's starting to speak.  She utilized trash from the floor to make clothes for the figurines another child had abandoned! We traveled down the hall several times to the bathroom. Any excuse for Girlfriend to play in the water!

DISCLAIMER: I'm going to brag here! 

Imani picks up after herself. She puts things in their place when we come back to the room. She giggles/squeaks each time she unearths a new book/toy/sweet treat from my luggage or a new dress from the closet where I've placed her clothes. She'll look to me for assurance it's ok to take. Girlfriend LOVES (in no particular order) food, sassy clothing (dresses preferably) and the mirror! The clothing and mirror part accommodate each other quite well, but might not if the food part keeps up at this pace! Seriously she eats like its her job! She found the bows we made for her in the closet along with barrettes. Apparently she picked her favorite colors and a dress to match. If I could post the photos of her wearing ALL of the things she liked, you'd laugh :) 1 purple bow, 1 teal headband, 2 pink barrettes, a purple tye dye dress and her sunglasses (which slide down her little flat nose and she constantly has to scrunch it move them up. It's so cute to watch her liking all sassy and trying to accommodate that one accessory! I added her jean jacket for even extra flare! She stood in front of the mirror checking herself out and smiling!

Yesterday she cried. You know why?! I had put shorts on her. Girlfriend likes dresses people! She came back to the room when we returned from our errands and promptly removed the shorts, (took care of them of course) and put the tye dye dress on. She also nicely placed the pants I pulled out for today back in the closet as if to say "we won't be needing these friend!"

I watch her with a smile on my face. This is a theme. I am her audience and she is my favorite show :) Good thing too, because if my eyes aren't on my new little shadow/explorer... 

Someone rips open the I Spy card box to get the cards, 

Grabs the very colorful anti-diarrhea meds that are not packaged and smiles like she just hit the candy jackpot,

Opens yet another lollipop she's found in the cabinet (thanks Mom, these have been a huge hit),

Or tries to brush her teeth with my very expensive Mary Kay cleanser, because well, the container looks the same as her toothpaste and it was all in the bag together. (Note that I have since moved various things to a higher level, as in Danny's room upstairs!)

I do get excited about these events because it means shes feeling out her surroundings, taking charge in her new environment and she's remembering like things. 

My Imani Ruth is so much more than I could have imagined! As Johanna would say, she's perfect for me! :) 

I'm exhausted. Sleep and food have taken a backseat. I have black bags under my eyes that I assumed was mascara the first day and tried to wipe off, but have since dabbed on a bit of cover up. I didn't get a chance to brush my teeth yesterday and my child didn't brush hers until 9:30pm today. I have an audience when I pee. Everyone pees right?! I forget I'm on duty 24/7 and have to quickly take note of where my child is and what she's doing (sorry Mary Kay, but cleansing her teeth would have worked right?!). I offered someone else to use the bathroom first, forgetting its not just me who has to wait. When Girlfriend shows signs she has to "su su", it means NOW, as in she is already doing the pee dance. We tried to make her feel better about sitting for 2.5 hours this morning by giving her ice cream, at approximately 9am. It is not the first time a treat has been served at questionable time in relation to a meal. We eat dessert first here people. No judging!  I catch myself saying "Tarsha will do it" or "Tarsha can help". 

I share these MOMents with you because they are the little ways in which it is sinking in that I am indeed a Mom. A real, live, yourparentingthischildrightnow Mom. It's surreal. It's rewarding. It's what I was made to do! 

Dear God,

Your good. Your funny. You are AMAZING! I'm still not sure this is all really happening, but I'm so content in the moment right now I'm going to keep going with it. I'm not thinking about tomorrow, or finances, or logistics that are out of my control and nobody else's business. You are thinking about it all though because You've got this all planned out. You custom made this relationship in Your timing. Thank you for my girl! :)

In Jesus name,

Amen